This book has been sitting on my shelf for a while now and have opened it and read two chapters – what delights have been waiting for me. I am so moved by it that I feel I need to blog about it.

The chapter begins with the image of God singing songs of love over me, over us, and his desire and longing for me/for you. There is a sense of rootedness in God that Manning pours out onto the page. I admire that, but I’m starting to wonder if I should do more than admire should I be seeking this too? Firstly, Manning speaks about the drumbeats of doom in our head being replaced by a song in your heart – it is so easy to hear the ‘negative’ voices in our heads from the world around and from others, how easy it can be to slip into thinking they are from God. Manning says Jesus replaces these with songs of love and joy. Secondly Manning says if we take the love and longing of God seriously we will find we are not dependent on the company of others to ease loneliness, because God is with us Emmanuel – a particular pertient remark from a Franscian monk. Thirdly the praise of others will not send your spirit souring, nor criticism plunge you to the pit – mmm he seems to have me sussed.. Fourthly, in a signficant interior development you will move from I should pray to I must pray – I feel a long way off from that at the moment. Fifthly, you will live with an awareness that the Father not only loves you but likes you – yea I see what he’s getting at there. Sixthly you will stop comparing yourself with others – another tricky one. Seventhly you will see God dancing for joy because of you, and finally off and on throughout the day you will know you are being seen by Jesus with a gaze of infinite tenderness. Well these treasures are only in the first few pages, but I wanted to share it.

Now I might have been slow in realising this but Manning has articulated something which I couldn’t quite put into words before: “Theology, is faith seeking understanding, and spirituality, is the faith-experience of what we understand intellectually.” Yes that makes wonderful sense to me, having studied theology in an institution where spirituality was rarely if ever expressed no wonder that my faith-experience never quite caught up with my intellectual understanding. I remember how wonderful it was for me when the two did start to marry together when I went to college. That sentence sums this up beautifully for me.

The next few hard hitting things (yes really this is all in the first two chapters) that we have union with Christ that is ‘Christ lives in me’ my acts are somehow the acts of Christ – gulp!  Then Jesus came not to ‘call the self-righteous but sinners’ I’m with Manning on this I don’t think we’ve dug deep enough into the implications of this one – I think I shall leave my comments to a minium about this. Then one of the last comments of chapter two ‘God is love.’ That is God doesn’t just show love towards us, God is love, that’s God’s character.

‘God is the Father who is the originating Lover, the Son who is the full-expression of that Love, and the Spirit who is the original and inexhaustible activity of that Love, drawing the created universe into itself.’  A truely sublime quote to end with.

I’ve been recently thinking about the pasage from John 10:10 ‘The thief comes only to steal and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.’ What does fullness of life look like when the pressures of job, family, friends etc weigh you down? I do believe Jesus does give you something amazing but we tend to think so much about ‘eternal life when we die.’ Jesus talks about life to the full now I don’t think Jesus intends just to wait and give it to us all at the end of time. In a culture where abundance means material posessions how can we talk about the abundance Jesus offers? When I read the gospels abundance of life came to the sick, crippled, lame, the poor, the dispossed and its really exciting to see God’s abundance of life coming to those people on the margins of society. I also wonder what that looks like for the healthy, the rich, the comfortable I wonder if they have to give some things up to experience God’s abundance? Do they have to set things aside to have life? Jesus talks about laying things down for the sheep, and Jesus says I’m the way – perhaps we need to lay stuff down in order to see God’s abundance. I wonder who the theif is in the parable – perhaps its the god of consumerism where by getting more things actually makes us loose ourselves and who we were meant to be. Is it easier to tell this to people who’ve reached rock bottom, who don’t have much anyway, is it easier for them to hear you can have a better life in Jesus but those who are ‘comfortable’ might not see their need for him? Perhaps our view of abundance needs to change? When I saw that God’s abundance was for everyone that this was a great message for the poor I realised that it wasn’t all about me and I was freed from myself I found the capacity to love others, and be concerned for them. When I recognised that God could be found in the ‘world around’ in nature, in film, music, art, then I realised God’s abundance. I was more expectant trying to find God talking to me in a lyric of a song, or a beauty picture, or a kind word from a friend. I found creation pointing to its creator and my life was abundant. What’s best of all though is God creeping up on you un-awares that’s abundant living. May he be gracious in helping me listen to his voice more, here him calling my name, and not get bogged down by the other voices clammering for attention.

Jude Simpson articulates some of my frustrations about trying to find ‘answers’ to things that are going on in the church and in Christian life generally. Also the tustle with others wanting an ‘easy faith’ to follow. How far should we be trying to make faith easier, more accessible, and when does confrontation come in? When other demands are crowding in on folks should we be making faith harder or easier? I do think there’s something obscure about the gospel that doesn’t fit in neat packages, nice bitesized truths. Rather its  a mystery, something beyond words, something to tustle with, to think about, to wrestle with. Anway here’s her poem-enjoy!

Jude Simpson’s poems

Not cut out for religion

I ask you, what’s the answer, and you just ask me questions,
and I’m like, “hello, I thought you were God?”
Can’t I just download you, pay-as-I-go to decode you -
a quick fix listen on my i-pod?

I ask you, what’s the answer, and you say, “where does the wind blow?”
Well, if Dylan couldn’t find it, then I won’t get too far. 
What’s with all this mystery?  How can you say, “follow me”
when I don’t even know where you are?

Your religion needs a makeover, you’ve got to de-clutter.
Make it softer, gooier and spreadable like butter.
I need a faith I can talk about and not sound like a nutter.
You ought to be easy to follow.

Like, a hop-on-and-off open-top bus ride,
a manual with A to Z tabs down the side,
I want a sat-nav path to heaven, not a Lonely Planet guide. 
I wish you were easy to follow.

I want a Roman road map to instant glory
a happy-ending-ever-after chick lit story
and you just tell me another foggy allegory
featuring corn and sheep and wine and clay pots.
What are you like?  Do you want followers or not?
Far be it from me to tell you what’s what,
but if you did make it easier I’m sure you’d get a lot
more believers, Jesus.

Give me bite-sized thoughts in a faith shape sorter,
No more spilt blood or living water,
just a pint-sized god who’s a straight talker.
Make it easy to follow.

I want fruit-flavoured shots of the Holy Spirit,
bite-sized, trite truths in Boyband lyrics
“love” and “above” – yeah, that should fill it.
Make it easy to follow.

I want facts on a plate – don’t want to have to question any, 
artificial roses every 14th of February. 
I want simple faith – blind if necessary. 
Why aren’t you easy to follow?

You say, “you are not my servant, now you are my friend”.
You say, “I will be with you until the bitter end”.
And I’m like, “why bitter? – I wanted happiness on prescription.
Isn’t that the whole point of getting religion?
And besides, friendship’s harder – can’t I just buy the subscription?”
Can’t you be easy to follow?

Give me a clear-cut structure, not a friendship’s fragilities,
favourable rights with few responsibilities.
I could follow that plan – yeah – religiously.
That would be easy to follow.

I want three steps to beauty from a teenage advice mag;
Ben and Jerry’s Triple chocolate straight of the ice bag;
ethically traded but with a Primark price-tag -
I could say Amen to those.

I want box-up beliefs wrapped in tissue-paper
presented by Fearne Cotton, and voiced by Tom Baker,
with a hands-free contract to contact the Maker
available from Tesco’s.

I want Quicktime cut-price broadband access.
Simple principles, easily practiced.
Directly transactional prayers – the fact is,
my time is precious, so why should I work? 
Why should treasure always require a search?

I want a message that’s acceptable without having to plead it,
that’ll make people instantly realise they need it.
Yeah, thanks for the Bible – but have you tried to read it?
You need to be easy to follow.

I want all the answers set out in a paperback
of less than fifty pages, in the buy-now-read-it-later rack
I’ll skim it on the train down to visit Auntie Kate and back -
nice and easy to follow.

Everyone will warm to its convenient slimness.
It’ll be easily digestible and provoke a certain tingliness,
and every answer will be one sentence long, universally applicable, and in English.
That would be easy to follow.

You see, I think you need to focus and refine your vision, 
if you want to market the brand they call “Christian”.
I say, “give me clarity”, you say, “will you marry me?” 
With all due respect, Jesus, I don’t think you were cut out for religion.

Just seen this on Asbo Jesus and it struck a cord for me.

This week I’ve spent some time with friends and its been great! I went to Bristol for the college community day and was able to see folks who have been part of my life and my days at college. In some respects it felt as though I’d not left but on the other had it feels like everything has changed in my life and things haven’t in Bristol. It was good to have some space and think about ministry, church, and life. It was great to have conversation about what’s going on in other people’s lives, to see people I know well and who know me, and to reflect about what’s going on. It was also an opportunity to feel connected to a community which is much bigger than my locality.

Then yesterday it struck me again how we relate to one another that people are important, that God is interested in relationships and he made us to be in relationships. Having time to be with people, to talk and have the freedom to share things or not to is the gift of friendships. I find it interesting to talk to people who have ideas and thoughts that are different to mine they challenge me to go deeper to ask more questions to find out the values that people hold and how that shapes who they are. I hope I don’t stop wanting to talk to people who don’t think the same as me, ok so to a certain extent we are all different but sometimes we go with the party line sometimes its useful to share with like-minded people but most of the time I find it refreshing when someone has a different perspective and challenges my world-view. Most of the time I don’t know where I’m going, and I guess I’m rather post-modern about it I don’t worry too much about the journey end but I’m more concerned with the journey itself. I’m thankful for those that I journey with and who also journey with me. I wonder if we concentrated more on relationships in church where that might take us?

I watched this youtube clip about the vision of 24-7 prayer and it challenged/challenges me in my own prayer life. It got me thinking about my prayer life both as personal devotion and the prayers I say in public in  ’meetings, Sunday services, and meal tables.’ So often we pray the same thing, we pray as though we want things to stay the same, we pray as though we just need to get some words out. I confess I pray ‘God bless my plans’ prayers. Prayer is kingdom focused praying that God’s kingdom would break into our status quo.  ’It shakes our mediocracy’ - I’m afraid my prayers don’t sound like that. Then this sentence from the clip got to me ‘they pray like it all depends on God, and they live as though it all depends on them.’ What a great statement to invoke prayer and action. The most fervent prayers I’ve prayed has been those times I really didn’t know what to do or say, those situations when you’re afraid , when you need reassurance, or you need words to say.  I wonder what it would be like to pray those kinds of prayers, what would happen, what would others think,would they be able to say ‘amen?’

I haven’t blogged for a while – I’ve been ordained, inducted in Worcester Park and now getting into ministry. I’ve been recently thinking about mission, community, vision and the call to the prophetic in ministry. I then came across a poem that Simon has written about being a square peg in a round hole. I found it to be refreshing, challenging, and speak into where I’m at, so thank you Simon. It has also reminded me of a book that is sitting on my bookshelf that I really want to read: The prophetic imagination by Walter Bruggemann. A book I’ve wanted to read for sometime but I haven’t quite got around to. I’m particularly intersted in the idea that the prophet speaks from the margins into the centres of power calling for change to happen. Where’s the voice of the prophetic in our communities of faith? Where’s the voice of those on the margins? Is the role of a minister to ‘institutionalised’ too much in the centre to  be able to bring the voice of the prophetic?

Jesus the ultimate prophet he brought the people of God in line with God’s values. To speak truth to power. To bring out the voice of the marginalised, the disposessed, the poor, those on the fringe looking in. So Simon’s poem reminds me that as a disciple of this marginalised prophet I’m forever on a journey, never feeling settled because the son of man had no where to lay his head.

My ordination is tomorrow, and I’m looking forward to seeing people I haven’t seen for a while. For the last few months people have been saying ‘I’ll see you at your ordination, Lucy.’ So it will be special to see all kinds of people together in one place! Although I won’t be able to properly catch up with people it is still a rare occasion to see so many people all at once. I’m also a bit nervous about the promises I have to make, and actually standing up and saying my story – it sounds silly for a minister to say it but I really am. Possibly because it feels so close to my heart, and sometimes you’ve got to say everything about the journey and that includes saying I’ve struggled at times with being a woman, and young.  However my focus is about celebrating that God chooses all kinds of people to join him in his mission! Above all I feel prayed for, I feel at peace about tomorrow and believe it will be a blessed occasion. I especially hope it is for the friends of mine who aren’t Christians I hope its not too full of Christian jargon I hope they will be able to see that I’m doing this not out of obligation or religiosity but out of relationship with God because He first loved me.

Didn’t quite get around to posting this yesterday so two posts today. This is a continuation of the ordination promises.

6. ‘ Make every effort to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.’ Represent the wider Church of Jesus Christ in the places where you serve, and watching over them in humility and patience, will you care for the people of God serving them and not lording it over them.

In a church that is fragmented both in terms of denominations and even within the local church it is good to be reminded that our vision is unity in God. The bond that unites us is peace; the Shalom of God. As ministers of the gospel we are to seek this peace in all our relationships with other churches, and within the local church. Alongside this is the promise to represent the wider church within the local church and in all places where we serve this includes the local community. I remember this year being struck by the fact that as Ministers we go into a local established community (by and large its one with history that has both positive and negatives) reminding them there is a bigger picture the Church is larger than their community. Of course we should be affirming both the local and national – even though as Baptists we haven’t always worked out what ‘national’ quite means. In the actual ordination service there is a story and sending from the home church, a recognition of the calling both regional and nation wide, which then brings us back full-loop to the local ‘calling to be minister.’ All of this reminds us that churches are inter-linked and dependable on each other.

I also like that we are reminded in the promises that we are not to ‘lord over them’ but rather to serve in humility and patience. We are not called to be managers of churches, ruling in some kind of autocratic way, but rather as servants trying to discern with our congregations the ‘mind of Christ.’

7. Welcome the stranger and build up the body of Christ until come ‘to maturity, measured by nothing less than the full stature of Christ.’

We are called to welcome, to be hospitable and to look out for the stranger making sure they feel particularly welcome. People have different ways and strategies of doing this, but I’m in a way glad its in the promises we can so easily leave that job to someone else, and we might, but we should also do this too.

The second part is building up the body of Christ until we are mature, nothing less than the full-stature of Christ. For me this reminds us we’re not there yet, we must keep stirring up the congregation to remind them to keep striving. This is hard when people have been Christians for years, but it reminds us also that to do this we need to discover more about what that full-stature of Jesus looks like. To keep our eyes, hearts, and minds fixed on Jesus the earthy, gritty Jesus and strive to live as he did.

8. Pray for the coming Kindom of God, seek peace work for justice and minister forgiveness and always walk in the way of love.

More kingdom stuff! Peace, justice, forgiveness, love – all things that Jesus proclaimed He had come to set in motion. I believe this means being aware of the issues in our community, nation, and world so that we can be a church that stands up for these issues. Its a promise to keep an eye on this in our world, to challenge our church folk to be involved in these issues, but more importantly to make sure we are doing that. May God grant me that prophetic edge, that unrest until we see more of Christ’s Kingdom rule.

9. The challenge: leave self behind, take up a cross and follow him. Follow Christ wherever he leads you, remaining faithful to your Lord until he comes or calls you to your heavenly rest.

Difficult words, and especially for anyone who’s read work like Bonhoeffer’s Cost of Discipleship, will know these are hard words, and even harder to put into practice. May God be gracious in helping me to live these words out.

These promises are pregnant with meaning, and I guess it will take me a lifetime to understand and follow them. I pray that God might help me to take these words and make them the promises in which I seek to serve God. If I wander off, may he gently and firmly remind me where I have gone off target. May I also seek to walk with others, that Christ might show me through them how to live these promises out, and that I would support others in their promises too, so that together we might be faithful disciples and ministers of Jesus.

Today I’m not going to write about the promises, I’ll do that in tomorrow’s post, instead I’d like to reflect on blessing. Many people have prayed, and hoped that Saturday will be a time of blessing for me. Blessings are a framework, a place, and time when God meets us in a special way, when we see His goodness and His life flows into our life. It is a place of encounter where we feel God’s presence.   A blessing is also an invocation asking the Holy Spirit to reveal God to us. I guess its one of those ‘thin spaces’ where God comes and shows himself to us. He embraces us, shows us His grace, and love. We are left in wonder and joy.

In the ordination service there are times for blessing with the laying on of hands, and then for the whole congregation to say words of blessing. In the laying on of hands people are invited  to bless the candidate, and those that that they minister to. We bless people so they can be a blessing to others. A blessing is also an encouragement, it reminds us that God doesn’t leave us, or stop guiding us. It reminds us that God walks beside, and goes on ahead of us. Those that will be laying hands on me are a number of different folk. Some known me a long time, others only for a number of years, and still some who that have just got to know me. Its a blessing from people from my past, and my present situation which represents the fact that God chooses different people to walk beside us and bless us in different seasons. I also think that when a whole congregation, blesses a person with faith, love, and prayers something deep and life-giving happens. Perhaps we should do that more often!

The promises I’ll make on Saturday:

1.I’m called to share in the ministry of Christ, in response to God’s calling.

-I ’m not alone but I share, work and have my being within the life, work and call of God. This is true for all disciples that follow Christ we are all called to work in the ‘Jesus way.’

2. I acknowledge I am a disciple of Jesus, and I now have a further call. I am to willingly and joyfully submit myself to be God’s servant and minister to God’s Church.

- All those who follow Christ are His servants and friends. Ministers are especially called to service, to wash feet and serve at tables; in this respect they are deacons.  Anglicans  are ordained as a deacon first and reminded that they never stop being a deacon. Its good to be reminded that us Baptist Ministers are also called to serve and we shouldn’t  ever stop being a servant also. Not only should we serve but to do it ‘joyfully’ and ‘willingly’ – that’s a hard one especially to do this in all circumstances – you know the more I look at these promises the more I start to wonder if I can ever keep them!

3. Proclaim the good news of Jesus through word and deed, making disciples and seeking the coming kingdom of God.

- I’ve given a lot of thought about this and it is a big task: to call others to follow Jesus is a hard one, but I guess all of these vows have to be done out of the life and ministry of Jesus. In otherwords Jesus is the one that makes disciples, but I am to serve him by pouring my strength, time, prayer, and dreams into making disciples. I guess I’m promising here to keep my vision on discipleship making.

4. Scriptures reveal the salvation of God in Jesus. I will live a life of holiness and prayer and be open to the Holy Spirit who will lead us to all truth.

- I will live a life that is open to the Spirit’s leading, study the scriptures, and pray. A promise I hope that all disciples would be able to say ‘yes’ to.

5. Serve and pastor the people of God with gentle nurture and faithful teaching. Set before them the whole counsel of God as proclaiming the living Word. Faithful in worship and prayer, word and sacrament, celebrate the grace of God. Seeking to pattern myself and the people I serve after the likeness of Jesus.

-  I like this phrase ‘gentle nurture and faithful teaching’ the word nurture encompasses so much: caring and teaching, disciplining, and developing; what a lovely image of a pastor. Faithful in teaching also refers to proclaiming the whole counsel of God – not missing things out of scripture, being willing to teach all of what God has revealed in the Bible. I guess not just preaching our ‘hobby horses’ or ‘favourite passages.’ I promise to celebrate the grace of God in worship, praying, sacraments, and the Word. Everything we do as church is about patterning ourselves in the Jesus Way; that is the purpose of nurture and faithful teaching, worship and sacraments. Again I see why discipleship is so integral to the call of a pastor.  To be continued…